Resolution of the averaging ambiguity in Friedmann cosmology has revealed that the interiors of ultrarelativistic objects can become tightly coupled to cosmological dynamics. General relativity now predicts that measurable energy shifts, like the well-known photon redshift, occur in all material with equation of state $\left|P/\rho\right| \gtrsim 0.01$. Objects that mimic classical black holes, but contain dark energy interiors (GEODEs), can undergo a pronounced cosmological blueshift. In particular, each member of a GEODE population can gain energy proportional to the physical volume of the universe, while the population itself disperses in volume with the cosmological expansion. The resulting physical dark energy density is constant in time, mimicking a cosmological constant. Assuming that the stellar collapse remnants realized by Nature are actually GEODEs, we discuss the implications for quasar masses at high redshift and the black hole mass function as measured by LIGO at low redshift.