Accepting Uncertainty
Dear Chemistry Colleagues,
Getting our ducks in a row, avoiding surprises, being absolutely sure. These aren’t such bad things. I don’t want to run out of gas on a long road trip. I don’t want to show up at the hotel for a seminar trip and find I’ve forgotten my shoes (yes, it happened). And I don’t want my students to run out of lab supplies. Being sure, being secure, being confident. Much of the time, these are good things.
But, I also like not being fully in control. Not knowing how an experiment will turn out is a thrill. I can remember as a graduate student standing in the dark room and taking the film out of the developer and squinting, trying to make out the bands from my kinetics experiments. My heart raced as I got those first glimpses. I miss that, now that I’m older and away from the bench. But I see and embrace uncertainty in other ways in my professional life. Not knowing if a paper will be accepted or if a proposal will be funded. Not knowing whether we will land a faculty candidate. These are uncertainties that come with the job, and being a PI and a department head involves risk taking. I guess I’ve always enjoyed some element of uncertainty in my daily life as well. Going fly fishing or birdwatching provides no guarantees, and I like that about them. Being a graduate student also involves risk taking.
As advisors, PIs are granted the responsibility of being good stewards of the resources provided to us. We assist our students in handling the uncertainty that is woven into the fabric of getting a PhD. Unlike medical school, for a PhD there is no clear path and no exact timetable. Yet, we form a bond with our students and we help them in making adjustments to a not so perfect experiment or a slightly off calculation, to guide them back between the lines and on the path to the finish line.
A polished research talk is enjoyable and enriching, but it also tinged with a bit of fraud. Most talks give the illusion that it is a straight line from hypothesis to published paper, but we all know the line is crooked. Indeed, a gift we give our students is helping them understand and embrace the crooked line: not only understanding why the right answer is right, but also understanding why the (hundred) wrong answer(s) are wrong. Einstein said it beautifully, “We not only want to know how nature is, but we also want to reach, if possible, a goal which may seem utopian and presumptuous, namely to know why nature is such and not otherwise.”
When I was a postdoc I used to wear a t-shirt that said “Dare to be naive”, which is attributed to Buckminster Fuller. My mother, a non-scientist, gave it to me because she loved the saying. But it used to drive by baymate nuts; it made no sense to her. What Buckminster was saying is that we need to be vulnerable to be creative. Interestingly, some of the greatest and most creative actors conjured up a sense of vulnerability. I’ve heard it said that this is what made tough guy actor Marlon Brando so great. To do something new, we have to open ourselves up to being vulnerable, to being wrong. Brene Brown said that “Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” Creativity and innovation require us to be vulnerable and Bucky knew this.
A few weeks ago I shared a NYTimes essay entitled, “How to Stay Sane When the World Seems Crazy." In this piece, there was a section on accepting uncertainty and abdicating security. Perhaps now, more than ever, there is uncertainty in our lives. Questions abound, “When will we get back to work?” “Will my degree be delayed?” “Will my friends and family be OK?” “Will I be OK?” When I embrace uncertainty, these questions don’t necessarily get answered, but I take comfort in knowing that someday they will. Getting a PhD requires a leap of faith by both the student and the PI, and it comes with the acceptance of uncertainty. But the product of that uncertainty can be innovative, advances that are a thrill. Graduate students, if you find yourself anxious, especially these days, talk to your PI. We will help guide you through these times and work together to mitigate uncertainty and to achieve the creative output that we all desire.
With Warm Wishes,
Phil